Confirmation

Best quote of the day, overheard, coming from some too cool slick nice suit douche "Not only is it a great strip club, but they also serve food there..."

Ok, now I'm completely sure people who might recognize me in public avoid contact at all costs. There is material for a witty shirt in that somewhere. Oct. 3, Merchandise Mart, the CAC Chicago Art Open, I'll have a piece in there, getting to my website too... gabrielgf.com Gotta figure out how to get cards made, being as my personal computer is dead, and the only file I have of it is in unreliable hands. So i'm going to figure out a way to make business cards that arnt cliche business cards, like the ones i've just ran out of.

Little Cowboy Charlie cracks me up.

I sound like somebody dying, stupid cold has me missing work for two days now. Though its really fun to answer the phone at work, I sound like a bum whos ruined his voice box with smoking everything under the sun for decades, raspy, OH and every other word fades out, like a shitty fast food drive thru speaker. Being sick has its advantages. Though, I feel bad for getting my roommate and his girlfriend sick.

Stupid Dream, Stupid Building

So last night I had a dream, and it was something that I want back so bad. Everything about the dream was so real, and so comforting, dare I say I felt comfortable. I wanted everything about it to be so true and real, and I was trying to absorb every single thing about it. Then I woke up. Though it still had the nuances of a dream, odd ball details, and what not. Stupid dream has been messing with my head all day.

There are 1000 things I should concern myself with more then that.
Examples: My computer with my entire digital portfolio, and years of pictures of my friends and i growing up, has been damaged in the move, and it wont turn on, i gotta figure out how to get it to a Best Buy or something and hope it can be salvaged. My phone has been cut off. There is a giant bald spot in the back of my head, I've been told its do to stress. I'm the proud owner of an enormous dept, that will take most likely the rest of my life to pay off. Do to the dept I've been forced to focus on a job that I've resisted my entire life, making my schooling null and void, oh the irony. But I guess everybody goes through that... I've been told over and over again "thats part of growing up." ... going to school for profession A, leaving school, and then being forced to get profession B, and then odd job C, and D to pay off dept.

Life bitching put aside, the most prominent issue now is my living situation.

When people say "oh I live in the ghetto" ... I really mean it, upon moving in that night there were multiple gun shot down the block. upon moving in there were people whom didnt live in the building hanging out literally smoking crack. The hoodlums hang out in the front and deal. Since our landlady is a cheap bitch, the proper security measures arnt put up. a few tenants put up a board to keep people from getting in our walk way from the alley, and the other night two drunk came and ripped it down. The building has been broken into 3 times, the other night when light bulbs were put up, NOT a whole 24 hours passed and the hoodlums took the lights out. While my roommate was coming home from doing laundry, there were 10 strangers hanging around our back steps. A tenant found a bag full of separately bagged up crack rocks shoved in his bathroom vent, obviously from the outside. the people living to the left and to the right of us are pleasant, there is just this small element that is making our lives horrible. A friend that was staying with us chased out some little hoodlum who was openly peddling poison in our walk way... its amazing how useless police can be when they want to be.

The area isnt too bad though, its an upcoming neighborhood, there are very expensive condo buildings scattered around what used to be one of the worst areas in Chicago, but we live in one of the scummy buildings, cause well its the best thing we can afford. I'll most likely invest in a shotgun, something that is completely legal, though i have to apply for a FOID card, but that shouldnt be to hard.

Yet I still dream about my ex... fuck I'm pathetic. It could be worse, I feel better when i solve all this.

Not Invincible

So everyday on my way to work, there are MASSIVE posters in the Thompson Center which are pretty negative... in my eyes. The add is an anti drinking and driving one from Coors Beer, good idea, executed in a way which leads me to believe in some sort of hidden agenda. The add is an illustration of a close up of a male bust opening his shirt like superman, only there is just a plain white t shit underneath. In bold letters it reads "YOU ARE NOT INVINCIBLE" and then in a really small font in the corner it says something that is easily forgettable that has something to do with drinking and driving. Kinda sad thing to have thousands of people see while going to work. There is nothing like a giant 30ft or so poster reminding me I'm flawed, and everybody else around me is flawed. And there are a number of them around, I cant explain how nice it is to have my fragile self esteem kicked in the nuts before the day even begins.

On a second note, I'm almost 83% sure I make horrible first impressions on people I'd like to impress. I'm good at impressing people I couldn't care too much for. The past couple of days people who I'd like to share conversations with... individuals who at one point in I have met and exchanged numbers with to hang out bullshit... whatever... and when in the public, these people see me, and then hide their faces or move somewhere where they can pretend not to see me among the masses, some have made eye contact, and smiled then walked past me... this usually happens a lot. For the most part to try and save a bit of my dignity, I'll bury my eyes in my book, and pretend to ignore them back... maybe I'm a bit too sensitive lately. There must be something in the water. I'm suspicious...

Da Guilt

The guilt of my inhumanity has caught up to me, this afternoon. As I shoved a fork full of noodles into my mouth i thought about one of my most recent skeleton. The other day there was a fly the size of a half dollar pestering everybody in the office, I waited until everybody left for the evening and had a series of rounds with the fly, after roughly half an hour or leaping off desks and chairs countless swings thrown, i finally got him. I cut off his wings and then kept him as a pet, cause i couldnt kill him now that he has no defense. HE ESCAPED! so hes been walking around the office, and because he blends into the carpet so well, it'll be impossible to find him. He lived a day, because i left him some peanut butter water and cracker crumbs. It must have been sometime the next morning when he made a break for it.

Though, I think hes contacted the insect community, and they are out to get me. Or hes alone in a corner blocked away from our world with furniture... I hope hes ok, maybe its a she... I hope its a he, maybe its learning the ins and outs of the office landscape and plans on getting revenge on me... There was some kind of teal and purple bee looking thing, it had a looooong stinger.... I assumed it was poisonous and murdered it, I hope it wasnt one of the fly's hitmen.

Signed the lease to our new place today, should be good.

o.o

I need to update soon, I've been doing more avant-garde type stuff moving away from realist esque... Everything on here looks like shit, most of em are sketches, I really should post some labored over pieces, just too busy and lazy too, but I promise more soon, I just gotta get around to scanning/shooting them.

unsober art

>_<

I'm an idiot/asshole/hypocrite/unloyal/coward